Friday, April 25, 2014

A New (Old) Economic Model

I have been supporting the economy in a number of ingenious ways. Because of a recent move that necessitated inventorying all my junk possessions, I've discovered just how heavy my support has been. I call it the "Buy, lose, replace, find" model. As an example, I now have in one place in my medicine cabinet 15 tiny jars of Carmex that I've bought, lost, replaced, and found again. The same is true for razors, sunglasses, nasal spray, glass polishing cloths, car-care products (waxes, brushes, hose sprayers, buckets, electric polishers), pepto-bismol bottles, watches, and, of course, ball-point pens.
I have four sleeping bags, three tents, three camp stoves, four fire-starters, and dozens of tent pegs. I have six blue plastic tarps and three canvas ones. I have three bicycle pumps, and perhaps ten little bicycle valve tools. I have three sets of cycling gloves, three sets of ski gloves, five sets of winter gloves (three black and two brown), three sets of mechanics gloves, and about seven singlets that I can't throw out because that would ensure that I find the missing ones. I have 22 bungee cords.
 I have three shop vacuums, at least five sets each of SAE and metric end wrenches. Ditto socket sets. My screwdriver collection is second to none. I have two huge cross-shaped lug-nut wrenches, neither of which fits any car I currently drive. I have enough micro-fiber polishing rags to open my own store. I have two sets of brown, two sets of black, and two sets of gray automobile rubber floor mats. I have six folding pocket knives (ten if you count the little Swiss Army ones with the tiny scissors). I have three come-alongs, four ladders, at lease four claw hammers and as many ball-peen hammers.
How, you may think, does one lose a ladder. Especially an extension ladder that if ten feet long when collapsed? I don't know. All I know is that one day I need a ladder. and when I look around for it, it isn't there. So, I buy a new one, and sometimes as soon as I get home, I discover the old one in a spot that I was sure I had searched earlier. My socket sets mysteriously disappear and as mysteriously appear again when I open my tool chest to put in my just-bought set. Carmex simply vanishes temporarily.
I now have enough of the items above to last me for the rest of my life. I have done my part for the economy, and am considering taking it to the next level. Now, where did I leave my car?